Saturday, June 11, 2011

FINISHED!!!!

Finally! Done with finals. Done with school for this year. Next class isn't until the end of September. That doesn't mean I'm done learning, of course. I'll still take vocal lessons over the summer from one of my professors. My conducting prof has offered to come watch me work and help me grow. But as far as having to attend an actual class - TA-DA!!!! No more! I can take a breath and relax now. I've got so much to do around the house this summer. New floors to put in the living areas, we're painting the outside of the house, a deck to build, perhaps. So much to do, and the summer will fly by. But that's the way it's supposed to be, I think. I'm looking forward to the challenge. So, as I head off into quasi-relaxation time, I'll leave you with a video of my conducting final. If you watch it, be sure to watch both attempts. The first was w/ piano, and the second was acapella. Both were different. And I think you'll love the song. Healey Willan, the guy who wrote it, took the text from the sexiest book in the Bible - Song of Songs. (And, yes, there is a sexy book in the Bible. You need to check it out. I'm pretty sure your library has one. So does your local hotel. Thank the Gideons.) The composer, Willan, was known to have the most awesome quotation about himself. Regarding his ancestry, he'd say, "I'm British by birth, Canadian by choice, Irish by descent, and Scotch by consumption". I want a quote that cool attributed to me one day. Known as the "Dean of Canadian Composers", this man was brilliant. He wrote over 800 works, including operas and symphonies. This piece is one of his best. Not very long, it is amazingly complex. I hope you enjoy it. We didn't have the biggest or best group singing it, but we had heart, and in the end, that's all that matters. Well, that and vocal diction, inflection, pitch, intonation, tambre, resonance...yeah. Ok. Heart is on the list somewhere. Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Humbled...

I've lost my voice. Again. This is the third time this year. And it's because of allergies. I had allergies that caused a sinus infection, which caused bronchitis. And the acute laryngitis that comes with it. Which means I don't even have enough air to talk right now. Seriously. All that comes out is a high pitched whine. When I sneeze, it is very funny to listen to. Think of a red stir straw as my windpipe, when it should be a garden hose. Now try to force the same amount of air out. All I have is a whisper. What's hilarious about all this are the reactions I get from people when I use rudimentary sign language to explain that I can't speak, so I must point or sign to use their services. I discovered the need for this on Monday, taking my girls out to get McDonald's drive thru breakfast. Turns out, they don't hear whispers so well on the drive thru speaker. Good thing Gracie was able to translate for me. But when I go into a place and whisper that I've lost my voice, people treat me like I am severely disabled, or mentally challenged. They either start whispering at me, or talk very slowly, as if my ears have been turned off. Oh well. Such is my lot in life right now. There are people who can't talk at all. Ever. And this is what humbles me. I've been blessed with a nice voice, a voice that seems to bring joy to people who listen to it. Now it is gone for a time. Probably not a long time, but when you make your living with it, any time is a long time. I am finding that a lot of me is wrapped up in my voice. And I'm trying to fix that. God could take it away at any time. While that would stink, it wouldn't change who I am as a person. I'm finding that it seems weird to communicate with alternative means, but it's a fun challenge. The hard part is finding a way to do it that keeps up with my thought process! Until then, I'm hobbled and humbled. Hopefully it will come back soon. But even if it doesn't, I'm ready to be me. I hope. Now if only I can find a way to convince others. Cheers!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Finals

I have three finals today. I'm actually a little nervous about this, as I'm not sure my aged brain can spout back the information needed, or switch gears that quickly. Oh well. The old college try, right? (where did that saying originate? I'll find out for you today). Gotta get ready. Talk to you after.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Backup QB

It's strange to have a NFL work stoppage. The last one happened in the mid-80's, and I neither understood nor cared enough about those things then. During a normal offseason, the QB of your favorite team is AMAZING. He's the guy that'll lead your team to the promised land, the guy who will shatter all passing records, hit every accuracy mark, and woo all the ladies with his chiseled jaw, wavy hair, and powerful biceps. Something happens, though, during the regular season. Suddenly, your golden-haired heir is a bum, a scumbag, a second-rate clown, a piece of meat to be fed to the dogs. All of a sudden, the backup QB is the most popular guy in the media, the most talked about player on sports talk radio. It doesn't matter if he's never played a single down of regular season ball. But he threw three TD's in that final preseason game! Yeah. Preseason. Somehow he's the savior of the team? Seriously? He's going to turn that 1-7 season into a playoff berth? Really? Um...no.

But what is it about us that makes us so quick to want to touch the grass on the other side of the street? Heck, we don't just want to touch it, we want to lay down in it, and make snow (grass) angels in it while letting its wavy blades caress our bare skin. We want to revel in it. We get completely sold out for the grass on the other side. We can't really see it. I mean, it's a long way away. That street is REALLLLLYYYY wide. And crossing it is a very dangerous action. There's lots of traffic, and you might just get creamed by a Mack truck along the way. But you want it, right? It certainly looks better than what you have right now. You know exactly what you have, right? Faults and all. Your QB (or whatever) is not as green as he used to be. And he's pretty routine. You know what you're getting, and you know what you're not getting. And it's good, but it's not perfect. Hmm.

Obviously, I'm not just talking about football. This happens in every part of our lives. We always want what we don't have. Money, cars, homes, spouses, jobs, etc. Something else MUST be better, because what I have isn't perfect. It doesn't matter that what I have is pretty good. Or that it's actually really good. I just know in my heart that the object of my desire has to be better. Because, while I'm happy, I'm not overjoyed each and every moment. I'm not jumping up and down with a mountaintop experience each time I experience whatever it is I have now.

Why do we do this? In America, I think this stems from the idea of Republicanism. I'm not talking about the Republican Party. Nay, this is an idea. This is an ethos. We are bred here to believe that we are the masters of our own universe. The kings and queens of the castle. The world is our oyster. Simply put, that we are destined for greatness. Our country was founded on this principle. The sky was the limit for the founding fathers. This thought that "all men were created equal" flew in the face of the current world caste system that existed at the time. Think about it. No one had gone against these ideas before. Prior to the foundation of our great nation, the world had been ruled by rulers. Even in "democratic" Rome, there was still a ruling hierarchy. Look at American Idol. Millions of people all over the country show up to sing, each of them thinking they have a shot at being the next "Big Star". Reality? Most of them will never, ever have a shot at greatness in that field. 24 people out of the millions make it to the final round. Of that round, only 2 or 3 have a professional music career longer than 1 or 2 years. Less than 40 people in the last decade are still household names. Yet we believe that we are all able to be that, simply because we are born into a system that tells us we can. We want what we can't have, and society lets us think it's okay. I had a voice student once who auditioned for American Idol 5 years in a row, never getting beyond the judges. Yet she believed that she was going to be the next superstar, if only someone noticed. The grass is greener on the superstar side. What she failed to see was that she had it pretty good where she was. She was ready to be a local musician, ready to start gigging, and working her way up the ladder, and doing it the way countless musicians have done before. Instead, she wanted what she can't really have, and what she didn't understand. She didn't realize that American Idol is a fool's game. You are owned by the record label, and have no artistic control over anything you do. If you work your way up the way everyone else has, for years and years, then you retain control over your art. Hmm. She doesn't realize yet that the grass isn't really greener. We want what we can't, or shoudn't have.

So, what's the deal? I'd love to come back to this. Let's talk some more about this soon. Until then, I've got a Backup QB to start pulling for. I think I'm gonna get a head start this year.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Update

Didn't get as far into the garage as I had wanted. It's a jungle in there. The tree lives to fight me another day.

Memorial Day

Ah, Memorial Day. A somber day to remember our fallen heroes, respect our servicemen and women, and to finish up a bunch of our honey-do lists. I'm excited because I have the opportunity to clean my garage today. Sounds like fun, right? I mean, who wouldn't want to bury themselves in a winter's worth of clutter and junk, just so they could get to the workout equipment left buried underneath a fake Christmas tree? Yes, I admit it. My Christmas tree is in pieces in my garage, rather than in its box in the shed. I never actually put it away. Sure, we took the ornaments off, but didn't have the time to put it away. As I recall, it was raining. Or I was tired. Or I was busy. Something like that. So - now you know my dark secret. I will be rectifying this today, but I've let it go on for too long. Although, look at the bright side! Today, I will remember fallen heroes, and ALSO get to celebrate Christmas all over again!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Grief

Wanted to write about this yesterday, but was so very tired when I got home from rehearsal that I simply did homework and went to bed. Jen's been out of town at Outdoor School with her 6th graders, so my mom watched the girls last night. They were asleep when I got home, and they're asleep still this morning. They need it.

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend yesterday on the nature of grief. It got me thinking. We talk about grief being this "thing" that we all must go through. Oddly, there is no real definition for grief. I mean, sure, you can define it, but your definition of it could be completely off when compared to someone else's. Even spouses of 40+ years differ in how they define and experience grief. Certainly, there are some aspects of grief that we all share, but the reality is that not everyone hits the same stages of grief at the same time, and some will completely skip certain stages altogether. Grief, in any form, can become debilitating. It can paralyze a person, and through them into a deep, dark depression. It can take a "with it" man or woman, and turn them into a recluse. It causes familes to break up, and relationships to be torn apart. Take heart, though.

There is hope.

You see, Jesus promises the end of grief. I know, you probably didn't come here to be lectured. I'll try not to. I simply want to offer hope. Jesus will restore mankind and the world to what He and the Father had intended all along. Pain, suffering, grief - all washed away. They won't even be a memory. Living for today, while in the midst of grief, means we must live for tomorrow RIGHT NOW. As followers of Christ, we must constantly have an eye to the future, to the return of Christ, so that our pain is placed in the prizm of God's promises. Only there will we be able to find peace. The grief we feel when losing a loved one can be overshadowed by the immense love our Creator poured out for us through His son, Jesus. Focus on His love for us and find peace.

More to come. Thanks for being there, reader.